Thoughts

I always have thoughts running through my head and I decided it was time to get them down. They are random about all kinds of things but this time I wanted to be specific. My blog and my journal are for the daily (I have them daily but only write when I feel it's important to share) random thoughts, but I wanted to put something together. Now by no means am I a writer of any kind but I wanted to do this for me and I don't think anyone else will ever read it so it's okay. I've started two books, yes two. They are very different from each other and both necessary for me to get the thoughts out of my head.

I don't plan on ever doing anything with them, but maybe adding to them over the years, but I need to get the things out of my head. It's way too much to write in my journal ( I still love to hand write and my hand would go numb from all of what I would have to say) and I don't think anyone would want to read it on my blog. I also don't think I want to necessarily share it all out in the open here on my blog. The first book is my life. A sort of autobiography and dealings with some of the struggles in my life. How I survived some of the mania inside of my own head.

The second is my frustrations with the craziness of people. It's not that bad and sounds worse than what I mean. It's not anyone specific, just things I've seen watching single friends over the years what I've observed people doing over the years and am puzzled why. I'm not criticizing their choices, everyone can do what they want, just questioning why people do what they do. That one's really for me just to ramble. We'll see, I don't know how it will turn out and how it will go, but it's given me a project to work on and just relax to at night while I'm settling down for the evening. I'm viewing it more as a fun thing just to entertain myself. I need to do something in the little free time I have.

Oh!!!!! and only just over 7 weeks to go!!!!!!!!!!

Definitely Right Place, Definitely Right Time

You know, there are very few times in my life when I have truly felt that I have been at the right place at the right time. Sure, there are the little instances along the way but only a few rare instances and cases. Well. this new job is definitely one of those HUGE times. I don't think I have ever gone in to a job not nervous. All weekend I was just relaxed and excited and looking forward to it. I wasn't really thinking too much about it either. It helps when you've been "chased" by your boss to come work for him.

I got a tad nervous in the car, and a bit nervous going in to the office, but not a ton. Everyone was extremely welcoming and very helpful. They all came and introduced themselves when they saw "the new girl". That was my name for the day and it was fun. I felt a little bit nervous about a few things. I'm lacking a bit of self confidence in what I'm doing, but that will come with time. When T finally showed up he thought it was reason to celebrate so we got lunch ordered in for us and G was supposed to pick up a cake when he got back from Wetaskiwin, but since he got back late, the cake is coming tomorrow. He mentioned what kind of cake he was going to get and one of the other guys was questioning it a tad, and I piped up "hey, sounds good to me" and G was like, "ya, the new girl approves". It just made the day fun. There was all kinds of nonsense and fun stuff, and yet a lot of work got done too.

At one point today I really thought about it. I have never had such a fantastic first day of work EVER. I have also never had a first day of work where at one point in the day I didn't want to cry. I don't even have the fear that I might, and I pretty much always do at least once within the first week. I knew without a doubt in my mind that I was at the right place at the right time. I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be, and I came when I was supposed to be there. I didn't go when I wanted to (a year and a half ago when I was losing my mind), and I didn't wait for my old boss to retire. I did it exactly when and how I needed to. It's amazing how well Heavenly Father really knows us and does for us what we need. He knew that I wasn't to go sooner, and that later would have been too long. It's right right now. I am very happy and know that this is the best decision I've made for me in a long time. One of the few I've made for me. Most of my decisions revolve around helping my family and friends, but this one was definitely for me and it's pretty dang awesome.

Last Day!!!!!

Well, today is the last day of work at this job. I have had many many good times and some stressful times too. It is time to move on and go for bigger and better things for me. I will miss the people, but not the job. I did get a little annoyed on Tuesday when D was telling a client that I was no longer going to be here. D mentioned that they were bringing in K, the girl I replaced (which I had kind of figured out 4 weeks ago anyway) on a temporary basis as it's a "bad time of year" to find someone and there are no grads to hire. I happen to know, after talking with K yesterday that he hired her immediately after I quit. He made it sound like they couldn't find anyone when really they didn't look. I'm pretty sure D has a buyer too, he met with him a week or so ago, and is moving over there in the next month or so and that K is just in transition until he gets everything moved over to the new place. Whatever, I don't care, I just found it insulting that he was blaming me for a bad time of year to hire, when he wasn't even hiring someone. UGH!!! Just annoying that's all.

But, I do have to say, that apart from a few things here and there I have been taken care of. J&D gave me a "care package" today. J's afraid that they won't have what I need at the new office so she gave me some stuff. An orange peeler, an apple corer, a calendar notebook, hand lotion, LOTS of hot chocolate (my morning/cold day treat) a thermal mug for my hot chocolate, a gift card to chapters for a new book, along with a new bookmark. It was very cute. I have that along with my box-o-crap to take home with me today. It's sort of bitter sweet. I'm a little sad that I won't see them and be conversing and joking with them anymore, BUT EXTREMELY HAPPY to not have to deal with J this tax season.

I'm enjoying the last couple of days. I've just been sitting on the sidelines while K gets back in to the swing of things after 7 years. She's been raising her kids (the reason she left) and hasn't worked since then. It's kind of funny watching her slowly get back in to it all. Kind of funny that she was the one teaching me oh such a short time ago. It feels like just yesterday and yet feels like a whole other lifetime ago. She'll be fine.

I am quite excited to start at the new place. It's going to be VERY hard and a HUGH adjustment but I know it's the best thing for me right now. Funny thing is, I'm not even really that nervous which is surprising for me. I'm sure by next week I'll be freaking out a little, but honestly, I know my life is going in the right direction at the right time. I am where I need to be and working on where I need to be going. I'm getting back in to shape and making all kinds of positive changes for me. I need this, I want this and I'm excited for this. This is my life and gosh darn it all, I'm going to make it the most fantastic life I possibly can with everything I've been given, whether a challenge or a help. So, here's to me, and all the joy to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait to get out of there

UGHHHHH. Who knew the last few weeks of quitting a job would be so bad. The work is finally slowing down and I'm almost all caught up. Not a ton to do which is good, but I'm sure more will come in. The problem right now is this one especially lousy clients. Now I usually only see the clients a few times a year. Around their corporate year end a couple times and then the same during personal tax season. BUT this one client never seems to go away.

We do every thing for him. He has all his bills and crap sent to our office and J pays it all (from his account of course). Well, J & D are out of town this week and he chose today to come in and literally harass me. When he first came in he started bugging me that I wasn't working, when in fact I was in the middle of finishing one company up and he interrupted. Then he starts asking if D was in. He clearly knew he wasn't and I told him so, I heard J telling him on Friday that they were going out of town and would take care of things when they got back. He got all defensive when I told him he knew they were out of town.

Then he has been questioning this big repair bill and was calling people on our phones. Whatever, but I wasn't going to leave him in the front and go in to my office and work. Not that I think he'd do something, but it's just not professional. While he was on hold he started asking me how much I got paid to sit around and do nothing. Then he starts to question the last GST return I filed for him. He's asking about this one big house repair bill and if I used it when filing. I said no. He got all upset like why not. I told him he can't charge house repair bills to the company and he know that. He tries arguing that his house is in the company name, blah blah blah and I told him well it's not in our books and we charged him for it in our books. He got mad and tried to blame me and asked if D looks at that stuff or if I just do it, like it's all my fault none of his crap gets written off as a company expense. I told him I wouldn't have done it without asking D and that he always looks over the stuff anyway. He acted like he didn't believe me and called it all BS etc etc etc.

After he was done being on hold and finished we talked a bit about his big expense like what can you do kind of thing. I said, ya I guess you gotta work. Then he said no, he just likes to, then changes his mind and say no, I have to work to pay you a-holes to sit around and do nothing. Oh man, I got mad. I just ignored it but I should have just told him I had quit already and he can just leave and suck it and I didn't want to see him again before I left. UGH, he drives me nuts. I can't wait till J&D get home to let them in on it. J is going to be so mad, she may even tell D he has to go. We'll see, but I'm sure J is going to tell D to tell him that he has no freaking right to talk to their staff, or anyone really, in that way. He's the jerk not me.

My knew mantra is, I'm almost done, I'm almost done. As of today I have 3 weeks left, only 14 working days. I work tomorrow, then 2 weeks, then 3 days that last week. I'm almost done, I'm almost done. I'm sure I'll have my share of difficult clients at the new job, but I doubt they'd keep clients like this guy. D seems to have a hard time getting rid of the jerks, but I know they don't allow that kind of crap at the new one. No one is worth getting peed on like that!!!!!!!

Friends

Life keeps on amazing me. It just proves to me even further that Heavenly Father knows us all so well and puts people and things in our lives when we need them the most. I had a VERY rough first week back at work after holidays. I came back to a pile of work and even more clients have come in this week. to triple the work load. I can't keep up. There is so much work there to keep me busy until I leave. It didn't help that I had the major stress of quitting my job and then some of the awkward moments afterwards, especially with J on Friday. She was nice about it but I still felt very awkward.

So to alleviate the stress I wanted a girls night Friday night. Turns out it was needed on all fronts. We didn't see many movies that we wanted to see in the theatre and decided on Eat Pray Love. The timing of the one at Westmount was perfect too. A works till 6 and K had physio so the 7:45 show timed so well with all of us. A had to go home after the movie (it ended after 10pm) since she had to work the next day but since the rest of us hadn't really eaten Em, K and I went to Boston Pizza. I had started craving it before we went to the movie and in fact even knew already what I wanted to eat before I got there!!!!

The point of the story is knowing how much it was needed. We laughed so hard and cried so much during the movie. I was just a reflection of where we all are in our lives right now. We are all single women in our mid-thirties and trying to figure it out. None of us were where we exactly planned on being at the age we are currently. I will admit though that all during the movie I was happy that I have made the decision to take some time for me to figure it out and go to Australia. That will help me. I've also been at peace with the new job. I've reached the point where when people ask me where I'm going to be in the next two years I just don't know anymore. I'll probably at this new job and working towards buying a new house or something but I just can't promise. I could be living anywhere or doing anything. I will always be doing what I'm doing for my current career as I do enjoy it. I just don't know where I'll be. Now don't take that to mean as I plan on leaving this new job, there is no plan for that, I'm just kind of going with the flow to see where life ends up.

Turns out though that the night was required for all. Em was taken aback by the movie. She was in such a contemplative mood after it. She didn't say much because it affected her so much. I just watched it and thought that it was exactly what she would LOVE to do with her life. Then K, wow, she had had an even worse week. She said that when she got my text about going out she was quite relieved and needed it. It was so nice to all reflect on our lives and the impact the movie had on us. It was also nice to vent about all our woes. The best and yet most embarrassing part was the tears that flowed at BP's. We all shed a lot of tears as we talked. We finished our meal at a decent time but kept on sitting there and talking, laughing and crying, sharing in our hardships. All 3 of us have had a pretty rough year, starting at about this time last year. It was nice to have people to share with and cry with. I didn't even remember mine being that difficult until I really started to think, and then I suddenly remembered it. It feels all so far away right now and mostly things are good. It's at least had a happier ending. Either way, it was nice to be that relief for others, to get them out and let them be what they needed. I look forward to doing it again soon!!!!!!

I QUIT!!!!!!

So I did it!!! I finally got up the courage to quit my job yesterday. In all honesty I had to. Everyone was questioning me giving them 6 weeks notice but I really had to. There is literally no one else who can do my job at our office. J is clueless with it and D would just screw it all up. Besides, I've been there 7 years, almost to the day, and figured that they at least deserved some time to find someone new to take on the workload. It is, after all, our busiest time of year. I'm actually kind of giddy that I'm leaving right when it's the busiest.

One of the guys wondered why I didn't tell them before I went on vacation because as he said, if it were him he would have not been able to enjoy his vacation and have anxiety about it the whole time. I worried a little and had a few dreams a couple of nights while gone, but I'm pretty good at relaxing and just enjoying the moment when I need to. I'm also really good at procrastinating things as long as absolutely possible. It was even hard to tell D yesterday knowing I couldn't put it off any longer.

Monday night I didn't really sleep much at all, and then the little bit I did doze off I had nightmares. The funny thing is the nightmares weren't about quitting, they were about a book I had just finished reading that night. Then all day I was freaking out. I didn't know exactly when I would tell D I was leaving but I knew I'd know it when the time came. Just before he came driving in to work his wife J had called. She was letting me know a few things plus she was telling me that she was coming in for lunch. That right there told me that I wasn't going to tell him in the morning. I wanted to make sure and tell him and not when she was there. I didn't need or want to hear what she had to say. She's the reaction I've been most afraid of this whole time.

After lunch just felt awkward and D and I were both working on stuff. So, at the end of the day, when he suggested it was a good time to go home I went into his office. I made a casual joke about something and chit chatted about nothing for a minute or two and then got the brave heave ho. I told him I wanted to talk to him about something and then proceeded to say that I had gotten a job offer I was taking. I don't remember all of the ramble as it was just that, a ramble. I tend to do that easily when I'm nervous. I couldn't quite look him in the face either. He was shocked but happy for me. I think he understood because when I mentioned that I felt bad for them and that I didn't want to screw them over, he did say that I need to do what I need to do for me. He at least gets that part of life. I did mention I'm getting to an age and stuff where I have to just...... then I don't remember where I went from there. Ramble, remember. He was appreciative of the fact that I was giving them time to find someone new. They also plan on going away for a week near the end of the month too. I told him I felt that after 7 years they at least deserved that much from me.

Today at work was okay. Once in a while he'd refer to my quitting, not in a bad way, that just made me feel awkward, but that's just me I'm going to feel awkward there until my last day. I'll be missed and I'll miss them but this is going to be such a good thing for me. Just one more step on the ladder of life. It's where I'm supposed to be now and who knows where things will lead from here. I'm glad the worse part is over, and now just to survive the crazy busy next 5 1/2 weeks as well as the beginnings of a new job. That's going to be the real adjustment.

I'll write some and post pics of my fun vacation soon. Until then, life is pretty dang good and a lot more relaxed!!!!!

Get Away

I had the chance to go to Banff for the last 2 days of July. It was so much fun. Three other friends and I went and just got away for 2 full days of complete and total silly fun. I'll post pictures to go along with it at some point. It was nice just to feel free. We did a couple of hikes, one of which I lost my prescription sunglasses. Now that was fun. They just plopped down into the river, but, thank goodness, it wasn't too deep. I just pulled my pant leg up, grabbed a tree that was there and grabbed for them with my toes. Katy helped hold my arm, Tasca helped a little and wonderful Amber took pictures. It was quite amusing and I will post pics of those now.

Today, I sit and do some work and then this afternoon I go finish packing and then head out the door. Fee and I are heading down to the states for hopefully a nice get away. I'm a little worried about a few things but that's not important. I'm going to try and ignore all that and just have some plain old fun. We're going to check out some of the old haunts of mine in Kalispell and area.

Then head to Seattle for a couple of days. Onward to a rain forest on the west coast of Washington, and then off to Portland, and finally to Utah. I just hope I don't lose my mind from all the driving, but it should be fine. And yes, I will be doing all the driving. You really think that I'm going to let someone drive my brand new car????

I hope that this trip gives me the refresher I need and the courage to quit my job when I come back. I still haven't done that and I'm worried about how I'm going to do it and how the bosses are going to take it. I still know without a doubt that I am doing the right thing, but that doesn't mean it's an easy thing to do. I am just glad that I already have my start date and my Australia tickets booked. That just forces me to do what I need to.

So, here's hoping I survive the road trip and have fun. It's going to be a long 2 weeks, but the good news is Fee has to be back to work the Friday so I'll still have 4 days of holidays when I get back. Now there will be some relaxing going on then!!!!!

This is the picture of me digging for the sunglasses with my "magic toes"

This one is when I FINALLY got them.