FREEDOM!!!!!

Well, my business meeting went well last night. I learned a lot about myself and how I've stifled myself at my job. I found out that I would have WAYYY more responsibility if I worked there and they want their employees to learn and grow. They couldn't believe that I wasn't doing more and they think I'm too smart to be wasted at my current job. It really got me thinking and helped me decide that no matter what happens with them, I'm leaving my job as of December at the latest. And that I'm going to Australia in January and if I have to line up a different job before I go, I will, but I'm moving on and moving out. I need to, I need that very much for me!!!!!

So, I'm waiting to hear back from them for another meeting to discuss things further after they've had a chance to talk with each other. It's exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time. I think part of the problem why I'm sick of my job is that I'm extremely bored with it. I'm not challenged in any way and I haven't learned anything new in years. I think that self discovery was the best part of the whole night. It's true and others have told me to leave my job before if I was unhappy and that I owed my bosses no loyalty but it was said in a different manner in a words that made more sense and in a way I was ready to hear. D referenced my father in it and he used to work with my dad. He and dad were Bishops of the YSA wards at the same time and like mom said, he said it in a Bishop like manner which was helpful.

I do know that I haven't been ready for the changes until now, and a good part of that is that I needed time to figure out life after dad. I mentioned I had been in a coma like state for almost a year after dad died. D asked what I meant by that because T had agreed with me and T just said that you'd talk to me and nothing would get through. I would just look blank. But mostly only those who knew me well enough knew how blank I was because they know how alive I really am. That discussion is where I cried. I still miss dad a lot and wish he was here. They were very understanding and I even almost got D choked up cause he loved my dad too.

I feel a great sense of relief with the choices I've made and how I feel about everything. Now I just put in some time and enjoy the rest of my summer and look forward to some big new things ahead.

On a side note. Went to my first Condo meeting for the 7 years I've lived here. It was interesting. I was scared to say something at first but the few things I had issues with I got brave to talk about and things got addressed very nicely. They are some great people we've got in there now and for the first time in years we have a better property manager in charge and work is finally getting done. A few of us brought up some big concerns and we were appreciated and thanked after the meeting. It was quite nice to meet others who live here too. The funniest part was where there were a few Colourful people there, 2 of them. They brought up in appropriate things and argued over stuff that wasn't even worth arguing and no one was going to change anyway. It was ridiculously pointless. One was even arguing on the way out the door which was odd because they had decided to keep it the same which is what he wanted anyway. Cracks me up people sometime. Definitely worth going to check out though!!! I got a good laugh at least!!!!

The Suspense Is Getting To Me

Well, things have been pretty good, but stressful lately. The day after I last blogged I went to a wedding reception of a friend of mine and T was there. I was so happy to see him. I went and talked with him about stuff and told him I wanted to come and made sure that the job was mine no matter what. He was like ya, of course!! Then he said that he wanted me to email him with dates that I could go for dinner with him and his partner D and also to write up a proposal. I was like huh? Seriously? He wanted me to let him know what I wanted to do for work, like what parts of the job I did and didn't want to do anymore, and what my salary expectations were etc so we had a negotiating point to start with. I couldn't believe it. I get to choose what I want to do for work? I don't have to do every single awful, dreadful, horrible thing that comes in? Wow!!! That would be nice!!!!

So that Sunday I talked with my sisters and got some ideas from them. Shelley helped me come up with some good salary and benefits plans and I looked up some jobs and what they were paying. Imagine my surprise when I saw that the starting wage for a job doing exactly what I'm doing now was the wage I'm currently getting paid after 7 years of working here. The wage range was mine to $20,000 more than mine depending on experience and qualifications. HOLY CRAP!!!!! I fit all of the qualifications plus 7 years of experience in EVERYTHING CRAPPY. So I put a range of 10-20 grand more than my current wages just because I deserve it. I listed what I currently do and don't do around the office and what I'd like to do and not do when I go. It was kind of fun to list the things and get a say in my work. It was a bit long but it worked.

That Wednesday I sent it off to T and he thought it looked great and originally set up a dinner appointment for tonight, but the next day had to postpone it till the 28th. So I am sitting around nervously waiting to go check out the office, discuss my proposal and then go for dinner. I'm a little embarrassed to talk about the proposal and stuff but I'll have to get over that. My boss still hasn't responded to them and written back about selling, which is going to make this so hard. After I get the terms of the deal settled, which includes 6 weeks off to go to Australia in January!!!!!, I'm going to have to tell my boss that I'm leaving here when our lease is up. I'm terrified to do it. I know it's the right thing to do and I'm praying every day that I can have the strength to do this.

It's so hard, and after all they've done for me it's even more difficult, but I need to do this for me. My life needs to move on. I need to be in a place where I'm not the only one relied upon for all of the office work. I need to have better vacation times and be able to take off in the middle of tax season without it being a hard thing. I need to be able to come in to work and not worry if J's having an emotional day or not. I mean even just last week she came in for just an hour and she was on the verge of tears making it hard to even want to be there.

So, things are FANTASTIC, but waiting around for the 28th is hard. Plus knowing I have to tell my bosses and procrastinating that, getting harder. So, lots of tension and stress, but it's all good tension and stress. Happy days are ahead, I just have to continue to be patient, and we all know how much I LOVE being patient. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YA RIGHT!!!!!!