Well, I'm so far starting the year off right. I was down about 10 pounds by Christmas and managed to maintain that over New Years, which was a miracle with all that I had going on. It's been a whirlwind of a ride. I was talking with Em the other night and she was saying how strong I am and how much I over came this year. I hadn't really thought of it that way. She mentioned how ya, she had her challenges too but she hasn't bounced back from them the way I did. It has been a lot to take in and even the good things have been hard to deal with so it was interesting to hear that she says I did better than I thought.
I got rid of a lot of chaos in my life last year. I was always running around trying to please everybody and it was literally almost killing me. When I finally took things into my own hands life got a heck of a whole lot easier. I made a few decisions that left me with more free time to focus on what I want to focus on. I spend less time, or none, with some friends and I'm focusing on the friends who really need me and want me in their lives. I still love helping others and will do anything for them, but I had to narrow down the list.
I've almost completely stopped going to YSA stuff. Once in a while if I'm bored I'll stop by a dance just because. I also have decided to go to little or no Single Adult activities. I will still go to the dances just because I love to dance and I'm a rockin' good dancer, but the other activities will come as I have time. If I have no other options come up for the night, and it's something I would really enjoy doing I will go to the other ones, but I'm not focusing my life on being single right now. I have a hard enough with life that I'm not Barb the Single Adult, I'm just Barb, me, everything and anything I can be and that's it. I don't want any sort of label.
I managed to get in two exciting exotic trips this year. That was the real hurdle for me. I am always so afraid to go and do things, especially alone, that it was huge for me to do this. Going to Dave's wedding in Cuba really helped. That started me and as the days for that got closer I randomly booked Scotland. That was overcoming a HUGE fear for me. I really get nervous doing things alone in places where I'm not familiar, even in the city. I'm not good at taking risks and doing what I want to do. So, that was big. I just booked the flight and had no plans. It was so good for me because it's the catalyst that is making my Australia dream come true this year. It was one of the most fun times of my life and I'd do that again, or any location, in a heartbeat.
I also thought it would be hard to be away from my family, and in a way it was because I missed out on a few things but at the same time makes me think that I can do this. In fact, talking with someone at the SA dance on the 1st he made a suggestion to me that I am very strongly considering. He suggested that instead of going for 3 or 4 weeks that there are certain careers that they are desperately trying to get people to move there for and said I should get a 6 month open ended ticket and a working visa and go there and work. My career does fall under those jobs (I already looked) but I'm a little nervous to do it. Partly because I'm afraid I'd fall in love with the place and never want to leave, which would take me away from my family. The decision is a hard one and one that is involving a lot of prayer right now.
I found my passion in the last year and a half too. I randomly entered a draw in June 2008 and won a month free of Taekwondo and haven't looked back since. I had been taking tap classes for about 3 years before that and they were starting to get boring. Mostly because the class had gone from a decent size down to only 2 of us the last year. The TKD classes give me so much that I love. I get to beat people up with sparring, do jujitsu (sp?) and wrestle people, break boards, do some boxing/kick boxing and many many other things. It gets a lot of tension out and I've been working hard on it. The nice thing too is it gives me goals to work on and I've improved a lot. Fee came with me to my last testing in December and she loved it and enjoyed watching me kick some butt.
Both Diana and Karen had babies this year. It's been fun to see Diana become a mother after so many years of wanting to be and all the crap she went through to have Ivy. She's the chunkiest cutest thing ever and we all love her. She's almost perfect too. Not much trouble at all. Miranda has made a funny addition to Karen's family. She's so sweet and even easier than Ivy. Hopefully Karen finally got the baby that's just like her, almost perfect. She's almost 3 months old and already pretty much sleeps through the night for Karen. Then when she's awake during the day she just sits there. Cache becoming a big brother has been an interesting transition. I also watched Veronica turn 6 and start going to all day school in grade one. I can't believe she's that old.
My mom got married, which was another huge hurdle to deal with. I'm ok with it, but it's been weird to handle for many reasons. Diana hit the nail on the head one day when she said that mom getting married and seeing her like this with Bob makes us miss dad more. We've gotten used to mom being single and alone to where it feels in some ways like it has always been that way and then when we see her with Bob and stuff we remember our dad and what it was like when he was around and it just makes me so sad and I really miss him. I'm fine with him and having him around but in an ideal world my daddy would just be here to make it all better. I miss those father-daughter times that I'm not going to have again until I see him in the next life. He's there waiting for all of us to come to him.
So here are a few of the things I'm thinking of planning and organizing for this year. Australia is of course at the top of my list. Definitely the grandest of all grand adventures that I desperately need. I'm continuing to work on feeling healthier and working on tracking what I'm eating everyday, which I'm still only taking one day at a time and have no promises to track the next day, just that day. I also would like to finish some of my reading. I have a bunch of books that I want to read and haven't yet. I'm still working on some old ones too. I'm not a good reader, my reading vocabulary is high, I just don't have the patience to sit and read. Not my favourite past times, even though I love the stories. How retarded is that? My next thing that I've already started is my pictures. I have had these frames sitting here empty for 2 years now and I finally sent some photos to costco to be printed. I'm picking them up tomorrow. I went through my Scotland ones deciding which ones to print and I need to do the same with my Cuba pictures. I have a binder of stuff I want to do for the Scotland ones and I really would love to finish that. I'm excited to start working on it!!!!
So, here's to many more grand adventures and doing things that help me to be a happier, healthier person. I know my life is good and I plan on taking it many directions I never even thought of. I need to take even more risks this year and do things I never even thought of doing. Not the crazy things like jumping out of a plane or anything (that thought scares me to death) but of doing things that are out of the norm for me that are just different that you don't think of everyday.
This is a picture I made on facebook of some random photos I've posted on there of my 2009 year. I know 2010 and the decade to come are going to be at least as good, if not even better!!!!!!
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