Panic Attack!!

I'm starting to get very scared. Over lunch today J happened to mention that her and her husband went "office space" shopping on Sunday. That scared the crap out of me. I have no idea what this means. I don't want them to continue working. I am losing my mind. This tax season has been one of the hardest ones for me to survive. J is getting so bad to deal with and I'm not sure how much longer I can take this.

Now, I love my bosses, they have been so good to me, I am just so ready for a change and I don't think I can tell them I'm leaving. I'm too loyal and I know if I leave they have to sell. I don't know how to do that to them. I have started hating my job everyday and that's not a good thing for me. Even when I had days where I went home early I was hating it. I also need to be in a place where I can go away whenever I want and not just during the months of June to August. That is so confining and making it hard to want to go anywhere. I need some changes.

I would love to buy a house in the next two years and I know where I am I won't be able to do that either. I got desperate and emailed T about it today too asking if there was anything he could do to help to remind D that the offer is there. I just about started to cry I'm so frustrated. I just need a change of scenery so bad. I feel very stuck in life right now.

It doesn't help that I have been struggling with other decisions in my life that are keeping me awake at night. I hate it when I think too much. Keeps me awake at night. So, here's hoping and praying that things go well for me. I'm not sure how much longer I can stay here at this job, and the possibility of it going on for a year or two scare me to death. Pray for me that it all goes well and I'm able to have the changes I so desperately need to move forward in life. Every other decision seem to hang on this one thing and it's driving me nuts because I'm not making any progress. Inhale, Exhale, just breathe and I'll make it through.....somehow.